Family Time
by authenticaussie
Summary: "They don't wanna pay?" Damian said, making a curious noise in the back of his throat and swinging his feet in the large chair in front of the batcomputer, "Just burn their house down."


"They don't wanna pay?" Damian said, making a curious noise in the back of his throat and swinging his feet in the large chair in front of the batcomputer, "Just burn their house down."

"Bit over-dramatic, don't you think?" Dick replied, tossing another card onto the table, and making Tim curse, hunching forwards and glaring as though if he stared hard enough the card wouldn't exist. Jason snickered next to him, slapping down a +2 blue that Dick quickly matched, making Tim groan again, grabbing four cards from the pile on the table.

"Hey, it's how I get _my_ money," Jason said, shrugging.

"Yes, but _you_ are not a responsible adult and shouldn't be teaching Damian that in the first place."

"I didn't teach him jackshit!" Jason defended, glaring at Dick and slapping down a reverse card that had Tim snickering in glee, slapping down his own block and making Dick glare at him.

"I have absolutely not learnt jackshit from him," Damian confirmed with a smirk, and Dick turned his glare on Jason, indicating angrily towards Damian with his cards. Tim immediately leaned forwards, reshuffling his cards based on what he'd seen in Dick's hand, and Dick gaped at him, insulted.

"Cheat!" he said, and Tim blew him a kiss before slapping down a colour-change and a green card. Dick began to curse under his breath, and Jason grinned even wider, placing down a +four colour change and calling cheerfully,

"Uno!"

"You both _suck,"_ Dick hissed, trying to sort through his cards in a vain attempt to salvage the situation, before giving up and drawing four cards from the deck.

"Still say you should burn their house down if they don't pay up." Damian said from his corner, and Dick sighed heavily.

"What if they keep their money in the house?" Tim pointed out, and Damian gave a hum.

"Should've just paid you in the first place. Also, insurance."

"What if they don't have insurance?"

"This is _Gotham._ Why wouldn't they have insurance?"

"Why wouldn't they just pay you in the first place?" Jason muttered, grumpily taking another card as Dick switched the colours of the stack. "If you're dumb enough to not get the money off them asap, you don't deserve it."

"Hold them for ransom," Tim said, peering at his cards before finally placing one down, and Jason slammed both his cards down with a gleeful,

"Hah! Suck a dick!"

Damian and Tim both turned to look at Dick, and then glanced back at Jason, their expressions blank. Dick joined in, his own glare holding an edge of angry disapproval.

"That is _not_ what I meant," Jason said, returning their glares with one of his own, and Tim huffed, shuffling his cards again before placing down a reverse and a block card, getting Dick's annoyance back to him.

"You shouldn't hold people for ransom _anyway,_ Tim."

"Extortion," Damian pointed out from the corner, his head over the armrest of the chair. "Or collection of numerous favours at later dates."

"Extortion and blackmail is _illegal,"_ Dick said, looking at Damian disapprovingly, and Jason began to laugh, getting up from his spot at the table and grabbing his jacket.

"Sure, that's totally why we have never used it. Not once. Absolutely have not ever extorted information from people, the pinnacle of legality, that's us."

"He's _twelve,_ we should at least _try_ and make sure he knows it's illegal!"

"Oh, I know it's illegal," Damian said, tilting his head back even further to stare at Dick, "but I also know it's only illegal if you get caught."

"No, it's still illegal if you don't get caught!" Dick said, once again turning to Damian and mistakenly showing off his cards to Tim. Tim rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly and refusing to even look, taking momentary pity on the fact that Dick's hand had at least twenty more cards than his own. "Tim, if you burn your friend's house down just because they owe you money I swear to god I'm telling Bruce that you used the batcomputer to watch Netflix with Wondergirl."

"Dick," Tim muttered under his breath, then rolled his eyes. "I wasn't even _considering_ it man, come on! We're _billionaires._ Bruce will literally get that twenty bucks back _with interest_ in a day. _"_

"Well if you do end up doing it, just make sure you don't get caught." Jason said with a shrug, before grabbing his helmet and his bike, wheeling it to the batcave's main entrance.

"Eh, if I do, I'll just blame it on you." Tim said, before smirking and slapping down his last few cards, making Dick splutter and then groan, nose crinkling in unhappiness.

"Fuck you, brat." Jason said, rolling his eyes before pulling on his helmet and letting his moterbike roar to life.

"See you next week, Jason!" Damian called, "Make sure you bring those new nunchucks you owe me for loosing _again!"  
_

Jason stuck his middle finger up at Damian and then drove off, the echo of his bike's engine echoing throughout the cave. As he left, Damian stretched and slid off his chair, shaking out his limbs. "Welp, I'm going to bed."

"Ditto," Tim said, standing and cracking his back before sweeping the cards in Dick's general direction. "Loser cleans," he added with a grin, and Dick rolled his eyes.

"You're the worst."

* * *

 **AN: Please review! I really appreciate it ;u;**

 **And feel free to check out my tumblr authenticaussie for any other fics, asks, and reqs~** **(though I am on hiatus atm vuv)**


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